Graham Swatham (white stained overalls, plasterer's hunchback) liked talking stocks and shares of a morning with Keith of Keith's burger van: second right off the Glogton giratory system, opposite Comet.
Keith's disinterest warranted Graham unquestioned expertise in a field he knew nothing about. It was a field full of FTSEs and Daxes, and something called the Cac, which always made Keith stifle a giggle as flipped Graham's morning burger: pre-boiled, just needing a browning off.
"IBM's gone. You can't get an IBM now. Sure it says IBM on it, but it isn't. Been bought out."
Graham kept abreast of such matters in-between sports reports on the 5 Live, but couldn't get embroiled in his favourite topic of conversation on account of Keith's Manchester City team poster above the burger boiler - a previous jibe regarding their form and tactics having spiraled into an awkward silence, and possibly unwanted seasoning.
He had already got off on the wrong foot - much to the mirth of cueing laborers behind -by referring to a Bap as a Barm Cake.
Ponce. Must be from the new estate.
He'd made up for it since; the populism of his third favouroute topic of conversation - Scams - bringing the punters back onside.
"Have you heard about this guy? Takes out adds in all the trade mags advertising the latest in vermin control. Guaranteed results every time it says. When the pillock gets it in the post it's just two planks of wood marked A and B. 'Place rat on plank A' it says. 'Hit with plank B. Repeat as required.'"
Graham grinned; lips pursed over steaming styrofoam. "Repeat as fookin' required! They reckon this guy's made millions."
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